Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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