Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head

(203): View more from Connecticut

she has to be all "alternative"

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(317): View more from Indiana

Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what? who is this?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.

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