Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
