p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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