If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
