It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
