Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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