So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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