Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
