Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
