I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
