The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
