I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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