Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
