I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
