What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
