been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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