when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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