I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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