Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
