you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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