does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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