Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
