dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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