girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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