Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
