good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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