Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
