just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
