i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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