whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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