yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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