does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
