I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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