Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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