We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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