Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
