It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I could make wine with my vomit
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
