Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
