im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We named our party play list daddy issues
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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