What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
