dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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