You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
