I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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