Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize