Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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