dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
