you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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