Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
