The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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