Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
