i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
