I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
