You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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