his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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