ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
