The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
