You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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