i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
