I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
