need another drink. this is the easiest way
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
