you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
