I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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