So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
