I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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