: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
