yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
