Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
