you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
